It's Friday! Time to dance!

Guilty Pleasures: Surf Ninjas

Surf Ninjas. I normally hate any movie that involves surfing. I've always viewed adding surfing or a 'surfer dude' character to any film or series an unusual pandering to a single coast. Unless it's Japan or Hawaii, considering they surrounded by ocean it makes more sense. I love ninjas as much as the next guy, but this was a time when you had to show more care as every other movie on the market featured the word ninja somewhere in the title (see: Mutants; teenage). I think the only other film that I ever really enjoyed that featured surfing was Troma Films Surf Nazis Must Die.

Surf Ninjas however is one of those films that, no matter how dated it becomes, will always have a place in my heart. A dirty little corner it is though. The movie features Tone Loc (of Funky Cold Medina fame), Rob Schneider with an inexplicable dye job, and Leslie Nielsen as a bumbling cop. I'm kidding, Nielsen actually plays the evil overlord, a bumbling evil overlord and is probably the best reason to see the movie (he was still funny). Otherwise it's pretty standard fare for a kids and martial arts film: Two surfer dudes turn out to be the heirs to the throne of a fictional island nation ruled with an (literal) iron fist by Colonel Chi (Nielsen). They are brought to the island by one of the last loyalists of the original royal family. One of my favorite running gags in the film is that their idiot sidekick Iggy (Schneider) thinks he's actually the heir to the throne and the kids are just a beard to protect him. There's a romantic subplot, martial arts action and mystical powers and plenty of physical humor. It's worth watching just to see Tone Loc surf.

Here's a trailer, there is a better trailer a "non-dude, serious trailer voice" trailer, but I can't seem to find that one anywhere.



Seriously, what is up with Schneider's hair? The trailer reminded me of the other running gag with Iggy: he can't and never has surfed. Ernie Reyes Jr., who plays the 'super strong' brother was also in TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze as Keno. Can't say I remember him, but I preferred TMNT III. But that's a guilty pleasure for another day.

Hello?

I still can't get my phone to turn off my oven or water my lawn....

Player One FTW

Here is my "homeboy" Player One, keeping it real, as it were.

Ultraman: Towards the Future

Since I am hopefully going to be doing my next article on some cheap Ultraman figures, I thought I'd slip in a quick one about the Ultraman figures I have now. The figures were produced by a company called Dreamworks (no relation to SKG), not Bandai, as I first assumed. I couldn't find much information on any other known toylines by the same company, but did verify that the figures were based on a short lived Fox series entitled Ultraman: Towards the Future. I have nearly every figure from the line but never acquired any of the vehicles from the series. Apparently, despite being clearly displayed on the back of the boxes only one of the vehicles, the Hummer, an aircraft of some type, was ever released.


First up is the Ultraman himself. Referred to as Ultraman, Defender of the Universe on the box art. He came with his tiny and completely out of proportion alter ego figure Jack Shindo. I still have Jack around here somewhere, boxed up for safekeeping hopefully. I did find that the one I have is wearing a red speed suit, that there are alternate ones include with him wearing a blue suit. He's a little worse for wear, but still fighting fit at the ripe ol' age of 17!

And here's Barrangas....


Possibly my least favorite of all the "monster" figures. I never saw the series when it originally aired and this guy just doesn't look like much of a threat, more like some kind of lap dog for the big bad of the series. Which brings up an interesting note about the 'big bad' of the series, Gudis.
Gudis apparently had two different forms in the original series, as Sentai monsters are wont to do, but neither were released in the Dreamworks line. There was a release by Bandai in Japan, which leads me to assume that Dreamworks was a version of Bandai US or at most a distributor stateside. Although, from what I've read the Bandai figures featured greater articulation (at least on the Ultraman figure) than those released by Dreamworks.

Then we have Bogun:

Probably one of my faves, just for his extreme weirdness. He looks like a cross between a frog, a seal and 1/8th of an octopus. This guy makes me want to go digging for the episode of the series he appeared in, just out of curiosity. If you don't know, the Ultraman series was a little bit Power Rangers and a little bit Godzilla. So all these monsters were a guy, or guys, in a rubber suit. So when I see a monstrosity like Bogun, I really have to wonder how they pulled it off, especially that head tentacle.

Gerukadon!

Until I found out about Gudis, this was the main monster, and he looks it too! More or less humanoid, with more useful appendages than the average Ultraman baddy, he was in charge of my Ultra-villains from day one. Too bad he was just a pauper.....

And saving the best for last: KILAZEE!!!!!!

By far my favorite of the Ultra-monsters! The long plesiosaur-like neck, bat wings, that weird forked tail and the double barreld fists! And a single horn, like a beautiful unicorn. He was always the Starscream to Gerukadon's Megatron. An usurper to the throne. It was really hard not to let him run things his way...who could say no to this smile:

It just screams: TRUST ME! TRUST ME OR I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!
Ahhh, Killazee, what won't you do for the illusion of power?

That about does it for Ultraman for me, except for the one that got away. I had all but forgotten about Majaba. Quite possibly the most hideous of all of Gudis' minions and the only one I never claimed for my own. Here's a photo of my missing prize now:

Wait that's not Majaba! It's UNKNOWN CHICKEN MONSTER!!!! Yes UCM, you are an Ultraman figure, but you are not from the Dreamworks series, and you'll never be Majaba!

Sigh. Anyway there are tons more monsters from the Ultraman series and tons more Ultramen and Ultrawomen as well. Too many to list here in what is supposed to be a placeholder for an article on much crappier toys.

Next time: Crappy toys that are supposed to be Ultraman but in reality are not!

Go Go City of Heroes Rangers!

Crystal and I made this wonderful discovery at the local Founder's Day event at the park this weekend. One of the vendors there had a booth of cheap plastic toys, but this was a rare prize indeed!


There were a few other toys, most of them obvious Power Rangers knock-offs, but this was the only set there stepping on multiple toes. First is the "City of Heroes" title on the backing card. For those of you who don't know CoH is an MMO that has been around for over five years now. Seeing it used in such a way was a real surprise!

Then there's this guy:


That's obviously Spiderman or maybe Venom, but the little red guy looks like an obvious attempt to actually recreate the cheap plastic toys in the package itself. And speaking of the toys.....


they insist that I try them, unfortunately pushing the little bit on the back of the packaging does little or nothing. And what the hell is "Hero Country Zone"? It sounds like the Super Sentai equivalent of Bed Bath and Beyond.

I don't know what to say about this bit, except that I'm trying to stay at least PG here:


The back of the card is the same characters recreated in B&W. That is the angriest, weirdest Batman I've ever seen.

You can sort of see the cutouts on the back for the 'try me' feature, I decided after a little more investigation that there is actually a light on their chests that should light up, but doesn't seem to, I'm assuming dead batteries and imagining that the toys were 50% more awesome with tiny leds in their chests!


AWESOME!!

Not planning on letting these bad boys out of the box, considering the box was the entire reason for the purchase. Unlike the Kamen Rider knock-offs, who actually looked like Kamen Rider. Wish I could find the box for these guys though, as it was rife with copyright violations as well.


That's pretty much all for now. I plan a trip to the same little store the Kamens came from this week to pick up some more of the oddities they had there. Little plastic Japanese cell phones with Looney Tunes and Pokemon on them at the same time! Also a pack of 'Ultraman' figures that were horribly made. Oh, and speaking of Ultraman, anyone know who this is supposed to be?



I've had him for a while, and all I can confirm is that he was part of the Ultraman series and was made by Bandai. If anyone has any guesses lemme know.

Thanks!